I’ve noticed a peculiar trend in my online life lately. Strangers are announcing, in chorus, that I’ve changed in ways they do not appreciate. The general shape of it goes something like this:
What is this new self you parade before us!? You used to be shinier. More palatable. We do not approve!
People don’t talk like that when they’re trying to stripe you for sport, of course. Instead, they say things like:
‘WTF happened to you?’ or ‘Is she having a manic episode?’
It’s not the criticism itself that holds my attention, however, but the timing of it. I reach the summit of my own self-possession and suddenly the crowd starts booing? Thousands of commenters have pitched up to tell me that they do not like this happier, more confident iteration of Rachel. The joke, really, is that I do.
I’m being told I’m less likeable at the precise moment that I have finally learned to like myself.
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